Voice in my head

Have to blog through my iPhone since my netbook's Internet connection is under maintenance...

Been meditating on this verse from the bible:

Cast thy burden unto the Lord,
and he will sustain thee.
He will not suffer the righteous be moved.

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What happened to me is quite embarassing to mention.... It's not respectable being bullied by people so much younger than you. I have to say it but I was really affected... As hard I tried to hide it... Now that i am slowly embracing the repressed feelings... I am getting short series of outbursts... Feeling condemned by their voices in my head...

When I apply my make up in the morning, I hear his voice saying "aiyo, like monster, foundation so thick, lips so red... Even young kids can apply make up better than her."

When I extended my hair, I heard him say "So ugly still so
vain... Old woman... Think she so pretty... Act chio.. Actually cannot make it."

When I speak to myself, I picture him waving at his reflection in the mirror and acting crazy... And I feel like I am really crazy...

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I might be sensitive... But trust me, any human being, being under such condemnation for so many months... This
will definitely happen... He has become the voice in my head... Killing my confidence and
self esteem... It's been 12 days since I have left the squad and his voice is still
in my head..

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Dear Lord,

I am the righteousness of God in Christ,
no one can take that away from me.
This identity.
Please remove his voice of condemnation,
and replace it with your voice of grace.
I commit everything into your hands Lord.

In Jesus's name,
Amen