Thanks God!!

Received quite a pleasant surprise yesterday...I don't understand how it actually happened but when I went back, people were so much nicer to me. It's like, they actually appreciate my presence... But I didn't do anything for them the past two months!!!

Perhaps, in my absence, they have forgotten what a pain in the neck I could be... Always complaining, always crying, always ordering them around, always unable to tolerate kicks but still kicking people hard... Really quite a nuisance...

Well, whatever happened, I am truly grateful... Perhaps God really did work his magic... When I rested, he worked.. =)

Thanks God!! Really... I do not deserve any of this... Thanks for making me feel accepted and part of the team...

Heartache

After 9 hours of cold-medicine induced deep sleep, I woke up this morning feel logical enough to examine myself as a medical subject... More than an emotional, feeling precious child of God... And that gave me perspective...

Travelled the 2 hours of work feeling a pulsating pain on my chest - heart ache... This must be a heartache. Though I do not remember the exact cause of it - one more advantage of having hypothyroidism... slight loss of memory.. Helps me forget unhappy things.. But as it appears.. What the mind forgets, the heart remembers...

But quoting the wise words of my uncle (whom I hardly get the chance to meet more than once a year) - what's meant to be yours will be yours.. It is a very natural thing.. There is absolutely no need to force or press forward to get it... Just relax...

AND LET GOD DO HIS MAGIC (added by me)

The two painful Hs - Hunger & Heart aches

I am trying to lose weight for the upcoming tournament... And also just to look better in general... Seems like my self control has allowed me to ignore my hunger pangs... I can even convince myself to forget the taste of food and ignore my desire for it completely... But my stomach keeps growling... It's embarassing really, especially when you are on the train (kinda sounds like flatulence)... It is like the rest of my body is fine... But my stomach is the only honest part of me... Crying out for attention...

Then I tell myself - how can l lose weight without experiencing hunger?

It is ironic how similar this experience is... To the torment I put myself through everytime I fall in love... As I have insufficient confidence... I keep feeling that my love for the boy is a burden that I should never allow anyone to bear... It is an embarassment for him.... And thus, as a favour to the one I love, I distant myself, convince myself that I am not in love... And continue existing... The rest of me is perfectly fine with it... But my heart is aching so badly...

How can I lose weight without feeling hunger? How can I fall in love without having heart aches?

Philippians 1:29

Mark 9:23

Jesus said unto him,
If thou canst believe,
all things are possible to him that believeth.

Psalm 37:16

A little that a righteous man hath
is better than the riches of many wicked.

Philippians 1:29

For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ,
not only to believe on him,
but also to suffer for his sake;

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Christians... Stars, spots of light in a field of darkness... Small representatitves of Christ given to this world... Sometimes, in order to make an impact in whatever organisation God has sent us to be in, we must suffer quite abit of pain, humiliation and distress...

But fear not, God is always with us... To provide us with whatever strength, compassion and wisdom we need to overcome our difficulties... Don't give up... Stay put.. Give God a chance to work...

2 Corinthians 12:9

1 John 5:4

For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world:
and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

Matthew 21:22

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer,
believing, ye shall receive.

1 Corinthians 1:10

Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no division among you;but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement.

Jeremiah 32:17

Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth
by thy great power and stretched out arm,
and there is nothing too hard for thee.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And he said unto me,
My grace is sufficient for thee:
for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

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I love 2 Corinthians 12:9. Dear Lord,I am full of infirmities... Use these infirmities as windows for your strength to be perfected... You can have all of me... If my entire existance is nothing but a big mistake, use it to perfect your strength in a big way...