If my faith was great.. And I had opened my heart to the message of God, I would have left immediately... I would have such great confidence in the Lord that I wouldn't have hesitated when he called me... What is a true sign of faith?
To act immediately upon instruction... Without questioning... Because you are confident that the person who gave the instruction loves you too much to instruct you to do something that could be potentially hurtful...
But I hesitated... I gave it great thought... I rotated the option around like a gem... And went through hours after hours of introspection only to discover that I was as clueless as I was before... The answer did not lie in me... It did not lie in my wisdom... For God's plan is far greater than any man can conceive or understand...
Eventually, I just left... Not as a result of my faith... For I had no faith in a good future... I was jaded... I left because I couldn't stay...
A man's step is directed by God,
How then can he understand his own ways.
Indeed, my steps are directed by God... I am glad that God is still able to direct my steps despite my lack of faith and dedication to his word... There is a form of helplessness associated to it... But it is a good form of helplessness... Whether I am aware of it or not... But God always protects and looks after his children...
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