Martha and Mary

At the Home of Martha and Mary

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Luke 10:38-41

------------------------------------------

How often to we find ourselves talking in a condescending way to our elders... Some of us.. even before we eat, we bark commands like... MUMMY eat!! PAPA eat!! Under the pretense of courtesy... though seriously, they sound more like commands...

So it is that we have grown into such a generation... A generation where the young are condescending towards the old... Most of the time, all we have to do is bark a command... and out of love, our seniors and elders run to accomplish our commands... We believe we deserve all the good they have done for us.. and we act like it is our right...

A junior once said this to me,"I thought I have already told you to shut up just now? Why are you still talking? Can you stop irritating her?"

I am not condemning anyone here... I am guilty of that too... The point is... Is it any wonder that that is the exact same way we try to communicate with God? We find ourselves praying things like:

Dear Lord,

Please make me strong, successful, rich and happy...
I have prayed this prayer a dozen times...
Why have you not answered me?
Do you love me at all?
Do you even care?

--------------------------------------------------------

We have transplanted our attitudes towards our seniors into our attitude when talking to our Lord... And it is a wrong attitude... It is.. Because God is so much bigger and wiser than all we know... Why in the world are we commanding him and instructing him? It is weird...

----------------------------------------------------------

I just learned this yesterday...

I was stomping around the house screaming and shouting and feeling stressed about the job interview today... There was a problem with my Netbook and I could not assess microsoft word to get to the job application form I needed to produce the next day... To top that up, I had just received a reminder from CPF to pay up my thousand dollar debt to my dad's CPF account (for my educational funds)... that pressured me to get a job... QUICK... I felt so helpless and irritated... Thus I was shouting and screaming about the house...

To my surprise.. My pet dog Loki followed me around the house... As I ran through piles of paper looking for my transcript, screaming and complaining all that time... He was so kind and docile... not the least afraid of me... I was surprised and touched... Unconditional love... To stick with me despite the fact that I was behaving like a monster...

To my even greater surprise.. my mother who was working in the living room... did not scream at me and ask me to shut up...

You know, normally I would expect her to say things like:

"Can you please keep quiet, I need to work here... Papa needs to sleep... You are so last minute, you should have done this many nights ago..."

That would normally irritate the guts out of me.. because it does not help... but today she said:

"Come use my laptop... Send your document over, we will use my laptop to fill up the form and send it back to yours to print. Don't have to be nervous... It's just a job interview... I used to be as nervous as you too... But I am over with that phase... You got more than enough time... You will be fine..."

Wow.. I was so amazed... it was the first time in my life that I felt loved by my mum... And it was simply because I knew that I totally did not deserve her help.. I deserved to be flustered and helpless because of my bad time management.. No one ought to bail me out of it... I deserve the misery.. And yet, she wanted to help me... And more importantly, she denied her impulse of saying.. "I told you so."

That totally sealed the deal... I went to bed with new found respect for my mother and thus, new found respect for God... If my mummy can love me so much and see how helpless and needy I was despite all my yelling... how much more can God?

-----------------------------------------------------

I woke up this morning wanting to be a better person...

And because I am so sinful,
And God still loves me...
I truly believe now,
That God is great...

If in my state of sin,
God still loved me so much...
To keep throwing blessings at me...
How much more now,
that I am aware of his greatness...

I have a confident expectation of good in my life...
I have a good opinion of all of you,
I hated all of you...
But I found out that I was one of you...
Now, I love all of you as I love myself...

Even if you should display bad behavior,
I will have a tender heart towards you...
Because I myself am equally guilty of such behavior...
It's not a result of evil within me...
But of frustration and confusion...
Inability to reach for God's love...

I am so happy that I have unlearned the bad lessons
I have picked up over the last 3 years..
In just one month..
Imagine how much more time is required...
To melt the hearts of adults that have been under condemnation
All their lives...

Be patient...

This morning I woke up and the first thought I developed was:

"This girl is so irritating. She is so childish and attention seeking. Why don't she just grow up?"

I surprised myself... I have become the very person I hate.. Mean, judgmental, fault-finding, self-righteous, negative, pessimistic... Jumping at every opportunity to form a bad opinion of someone and thus alienate that person... I have become a monster...


---------------------------------------

I talk to myself alot... I looked at the mirror and prepared for the job interview... Just then, a negative thought came to mind and I started complaining.. And when I saw my image on the mirror I was shocked... Have never seen myself look so ugly before... Even when I had more pimples, had a bad hair day... I never looked that bad...

Just then, I started to understand:

A thankful heart is a necessary component of beauty... No one looks good complaining... On the contrary, it drowns all other beauty... Buries it...


Then it dawned upon me that I have become such an unfriendly person as I do all day is complain and find-fault... Even my thoughts are so evil...

--------------------------------------------

These two experiences really humbled me... God is great... Despite the fact that I now resemble the world.... (and am probably the worse of the lot)... He still loves me...

Denise, it is now that you have learned that you are as sinful as all the rest you despise that you are able to love them... as you do yourself... Your heart was hardened and encrusted by this thick layer of hate you used to defend yourself from the harshness of the world... It has made you ugly... Remove this hatred and anger within you... Let your heart breath once more... Do not be like Martha... Desperately trying to be in control of all things.. Let go, and trust me...


--------------------------------------------

I am like that... If Jesus comes to my house now, there is a high chance I will pack up the room, prepare a great meal and endeavor to be the best host I can be... i might even treat him like a child... hoping to look after him to the best of my ability... But now that I look at it... it is all a result of pride.. I wanted to serve others to prove that I am capable... I wanted to look like a good host to preserve my pride... But this is not what Jesus needs... He is here to save... not to be saved by me... I don't have to look after him... He is here to fix my life...

So dear Lord, take it... i no longer want to struggle so hard to fix it... And I know now that I am totally unworthy... I am a judgmental, vindictive and proud bitch... the type of person I hate most, I have become... But you still love, nonetheless...

I am speechless...

Heard this from CSI some time back...

Men shoot themselves in the head,
Ladies shoot themselves in the heart...

----------------------------------------

cause of suicide?

Men think too much... Ladies feel too much...

Stop ruminanting on your problems... Trust God... Be at rest always...

Peace

A Powerful Love

All the quotes you read that are not labeled are not from the bible... They are from worldly sources... And yet.. you can still find a resemblance of wisdom... We are indeed made in the image of God... Every cell will long for this wisdom... Awesome isn't it?

I am so sorry but I will need to source out the exact chapter and verses to complete some of the biblical quotes... Let's pray that God will still be able to work through my infirmity and bless you with this entry...

===============================================

You do not know how love will affect you before you fall in love.

And therefore we love before God first loved us. (from the bible)

A diamond is a chunk of coal made good under pressure.

And suffering produces perseverance.... (from the bible)

Be tough-minded but tenderhearted.

Kindness is loving people more than they deserve

Ultimate love and kindness was displayed for us on the cross where Jesus laid down his life for us... WHO DO NOT AT ALL DESERVE IT...

Someone once asked me ... How do you know if someone really loves you?

Well, you will know that when she insists on blessing you and loving you despite your sins... and sometimes, that results in lots of suffering on her part... she will have to endure the ridicule and humiliation of the world... It will be hard for her to love you.. but if she perseveres to see the good in you despite your actions and her sacrifices... And is determined to keep his/her good opinion of you even if it seems illogical... It is at these moments... That you know, that the love is true...

We should all endeavor to love each other with the same kind of love Jesus loved us with... Unconditional, unearned and undeserved... Only when you know that you are loved with this unconditional love, will you be certain that there is nothing you can do that will forfeit you of that love... Only when you know that, will you be able to shine...

Contrary to popular belief, you will not start rebelling.. Especially when you know that that person's health and happiness is placed on the line for you.. because he/she loves you so much... Instead of misbehaving under the cover of unconditional love... You will be touched... You will be changed...

Love is so powerful... but not the world's love... illustrated by mushy soap operas with kisses and 'I love you's... God's love - Jesus... is the real love.... And that love transforms you to the best you can be... Over and above all you have imagined...

PS.Love is an action not an emotion... Actions without emotion is still love... But emotion without action is no longer love...

More love quotes

You may only be one person to the world,
but you may be the world to one person.
(Author unknown)

To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible God.
(Jorge Luis Borges)

Love rules without rules
(Italian Proverb)

If you love someone, let them go.
If they return to you, it was meant to be.
If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with.
(Author unknown)

Psalm 55:22

Cast thy burden upon the Lord,
and he will sustain thee.
He will never suffer the righteous to be moved.
(Psalm 55:22)

Have been meditating on this verse for the past three days... Was considering the last line...


He will never suffer the righteous to be moved.

The righteous in the bible... Included Joseph, David, Moses... even Paul... All these righteous men of God moved... Physically they were moved by God to go places.. Joseph was moved from his home, sold as a slave and eventually sent to prison... Moses was commanded to go back to Egypt to free the Israelis.. David, the great king, had to hide in caves... When Saul wanted his life.. (By the way, David wrote these lines) All these people were moved physically... So what does this Psalm really mean...

I believe what God meant was.. He will never suffer the righteous be moved from shalom peace... It does not matter where you are physically... what social strata you inhabit... Where you work... the shalom peace and completeness will always be with you... Where ever you are...

The most beautiful part about this is the finality in the word NEVER.. God will NEVER suffer the righteous be moved... It means that there is 0% possibility that that peace will be removed from you... That sounds like mighty good news doesn't it? Praise the Lord...

But then, another important question pops into mind... How do we qualify as God's righteous? How many hours of church and community involvement program must we participate in before we can call ourselves the righteousness of God...

Good news is... It is not by works.. but by grace that we are saved.. We are called the righteousness of God in Christ... It is Jesus's death on the cross and his blood that washes our sins away that has given us the identity of the righteousness of God... Nothing we can do can earn us this identity... And better still... Nothing we can do can cause us to lose this identity...

So, be glad.. Embrace this peace.. this unmovable shalom peace..

PS. Shalom denotes prosperity and completeness in all areas be it your relationships, financial situation, mental peace. That is our God for you.. perfect in supplying you with all your needs and wants...

Ruminants

I realized today, that I have the tendency to ruminate about the knitty gritty bad points of the people I wish to forget... Most of the time, these are people I really love or admire a lot... But I am still able to identify a couple of bad points and ruminate about them all day... It's my ego's defensive mechanism... Instead of admitting to myself:

This person is a great person... It is just not fated...

I try to convince myself that he/she is no good for me anyway... Such a coward... Which brings to mind the following point..

It is normally to develop illogical or even irrational thoughts.. Pray that God blesses you with the wisdom to reject these thoughts... and understand that they are merely a result of your imagination... Never totally buy into them... And don't allow them to escalate... Causing you to paint a minor bad point into a major character flaw... That poor person really doesn't deserve it...

Voice in my head

Have to blog through my iPhone since my netbook's Internet connection is under maintenance...

Been meditating on this verse from the bible:

Cast thy burden unto the Lord,
and he will sustain thee.
He will not suffer the righteous be moved.

------------------------------

What happened to me is quite embarassing to mention.... It's not respectable being bullied by people so much younger than you. I have to say it but I was really affected... As hard I tried to hide it... Now that i am slowly embracing the repressed feelings... I am getting short series of outbursts... Feeling condemned by their voices in my head...

When I apply my make up in the morning, I hear his voice saying "aiyo, like monster, foundation so thick, lips so red... Even young kids can apply make up better than her."

When I extended my hair, I heard him say "So ugly still so
vain... Old woman... Think she so pretty... Act chio.. Actually cannot make it."

When I speak to myself, I picture him waving at his reflection in the mirror and acting crazy... And I feel like I am really crazy...

-----------------------------------

I might be sensitive... But trust me, any human being, being under such condemnation for so many months... This
will definitely happen... He has become the voice in my head... Killing my confidence and
self esteem... It's been 12 days since I have left the squad and his voice is still
in my head..

------------------------------------
Dear Lord,

I am the righteousness of God in Christ,
no one can take that away from me.
This identity.
Please remove his voice of condemnation,
and replace it with your voice of grace.
I commit everything into your hands Lord.

In Jesus's name,
Amen

Alice in wonderland

I would give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

It brought me to the edge of uneasiness... And almost succeeded in throwing me off guard... But it failed to cast a spell on me... One word describes it best... ALMOST... But failed... It failed to enchant and disturb me like "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus"...

Pretty good character development.. But not enough.. the mad hater ALMOST charmed me... But unlike past characters of Johney Depp, the mad hater lacked the spark.. But one thing was beautiful... The hater's vulnerability... Loved it...

This movie is confused... It isn't as morbid and gothic like other Tim Burton movies.. And at the same time, it is not as beautiful and fantastic as other fantasy films like Lord of the Rings... It is a confused cross of fantasy and goth... It could have chose a side and pushed me over the edge easily.. But as it is... it is an almost... Respectable but not fantastic...

Not forgetting my favourite quote:

"Have I gone around the bend? Am I crazy?"

Touches forehead.

"I am afraid you have gone absolutely bonkers. But I can tell you a secret... All great people are."

I am Starving

I admit that I am a bad dog owner and that I have neglected Loki... been too busy surviving... With a tight schedule of working and training... I never had the time to tend to the needs of my Loki... All I did was hug and play with him for five minutes a day...

Wanted to feed him today... Made some chicken.. It was delicious... Wanted to share part of it with him... So I carefully shredded the chicken to small bite size bits and placed it into his bowl... I brought the bowl to him and lured him to the kitchen... But he refused to eat it... He just sat in front of the bowl...

Then I realized that it is because he wasn't used to me feeding him... I took a small piece of meat from the bowl and placed it in his mouth... His expression totally changed.. he loved it... He quickly proceeded to gobbling up what was in his bowl...

Perhaps we are all like Loki... after not feeding on God's word for awhile... We forget how hungry we are... And how much we need it... But taste and see... for the Lord is good!! =)

God's word... Awesome!!

Upside down

The righteous care about justice for the poor,
but the wicked have no such concern.
-Proverbs 29:7-

Pastor Prince once said this... That the world is confused... that we have gotten things upside down... that God intended for the day to begin in the evening and end in the next evening... But we so firmly believe that the day begins in the morning.

Consider these:

(A)Are we righteous because we care about justice for the poor?
(B)Or are we righteous because of the blood of Jesus and as a result we care about justice for the poor?

(A)Are we righteous as a result of our good deeds?
(B)Or are we helplessly drawn towards these deeds because we are righteous by the blood of Jesus?

The world sees A.... And we Christians too will begin to believe A when we spend too little time in the word of God...

The truth is B... After you are saved by the blood of Jesus, you are different... Your heart is new... You are no longer able to turn a blind ear to the cries of the poor... You will demand justice.. Every cell in you won't be at peace if you let injustice slide...

That's what happened to me... I used to be ashamed of it - My inability to conform... To just be humble enough to let the authorities of this world have their way... But who's the greatest authority of this world? Who's the prince of this world? The devil. Indeed... How can I bow down to his ways? How can I conform to this world now that I am hopelessly saved?

I am no longer ashamed... I am proud of myself... What happened was wrong.. I am proud that I was the only one with the courage to speak up. I am glad that my heart and every cell in me is so totally transformed by the blood of Jesus that injustice just cannot be tolerated anymore...

The righteous care about justice for the poor,
but the wicked have no such concern.
-Proverbs 29:7-


Evil men do not understand justice,
but those who seek the Lord understand it fully.
-Proverbs 28:5-

Faithless but saved nonetheless

If my faith was great.. And I had opened my heart to the message of God, I would have left immediately... I would have such great confidence in the Lord that I wouldn't have hesitated when he called me... What is a true sign of faith?

To act immediately upon instruction... Without questioning... Because you are confident that the person who gave the instruction loves you too much to instruct you to do something that could be potentially hurtful...

But I hesitated... I gave it great thought... I rotated the option around like a gem... And went through hours after hours of introspection only to discover that I was as clueless as I was before... The answer did not lie in me... It did not lie in my wisdom... For God's plan is far greater than any man can conceive or understand...

Eventually, I just left... Not as a result of my faith... For I had no faith in a good future... I was jaded... I left because I couldn't stay...

A man's step is directed by God,
How then can he understand his own ways.

Indeed, my steps are directed by God... I am glad that God is still able to direct my steps despite my lack of faith and dedication to his word... There is a form of helplessness associated to it... But it is a good form of helplessness... Whether I am aware of it or not... But God always protects and looks after his children...

Law or Grace?

Love and faithfulness keep a king safe;
through love his throne is made secure.
-Proverbs 20:28-

When love rules, power takes a backseat...
When power thrives, love recedes...
Either will stay in the shadow as the other shines...

---------------------------------------------------

It is not by brute force and violence... Or by proving yourself with your capabilities that your throne is secured... it is through love and faithfulness...

As a leader, everyday you will be presented with choices... People will trespass against you... they will make mistakes and upset you... They can't help it... They are fallible humans... And you will have two choices - law (discipline) or grace (forgiveness)... of course, every situation is unique... And it is grossly inaccurate to simplify the options into purely law or grace...

But my advise is... Always try to choose grace... For grace is love... Love is God... Forgive and gently guide the person to the right path... Grace is not soft... It is kind and lovely but firm... Never speak from a position of superiority:

Eg: Why are you so stupid? Why do you make this stupid mistake? I will never make it... Your friends will never make it... What's the matter with you?

Instead, understand that you are as likely to make the same mistake... Instead of being angry.. Sympathies with him/her and guide her gently:

Eg. It is a mistake... And it will have its consequences... We cannot nullify those consequences but don't be too hard on yourself... All of us are capable of making this mistake... Mistakes are just opportunities for us to learn... So let's not waste any energy being upset about it... Let's learn from it and become wiser together.

If Jesus could forgive us of everything... Including striping, spitting on and crucifying him... Why can't we forgive our brother? Leaders must have an abundance of grace and love in them... they must have an abundance of Jesus in them... Remember that as a leader, your job is to feed God's sheep... Love them as God's inheritance to you...

Proverbs that caught my eye today

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
-Proverbs 17:22-

A man's spirit sustains him in sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
-Proverbs 18:14-

The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
-Proverbs 18:21-

How many of us speak so freely without thinking? And as a result, make enemies, hurt people. What is that a result of? Carelessness? Nope. It is a result of underestimating the power of the tongue...

If we only knew how powerful the tongue is. How did Jesus raise the dead? How did Paul cast out evil spirits? By the fruit of his lips... By speaking in a loud voice.. By his tongue...

As such, as Jesus is, so are we in this world.. You have the power to motivate and save people with your words... Your words can encourage and bring life to the weak... Similarly, it has also the power to condemn, demoralize and belittle people...

Do you see a man who speaks in haste?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
-Proverbs 29:20-

Please think twice before speaking... =)

Consider this:

Even a fool kept silent is thought wise...

If you have nothing good to say... Keep quiet... It's better to keep quiet than to cause unintended destruction with rash words...

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

----------------------------------------------

Spent too long away from the word of God... It's like I have fallen into a different frequency... Unable to receive the messages of God or interpret his signs and word as freely as I was able to do before... Too much introspection... Too much of me... I must remove me from my core and allow Jesus in once more... At hand, I have this beautiful verse... but I fail to interpret it..

Dear Lord,

I pray for shalom peace...
I pray that you remove me from my mind...
That all day I am preoccupied only on thinking about Jesus...
On your word...

Remove me...
So that I can focus on Jesus...
I am indeed weak, lowly and insignificant...
But Jesus is everything that's good...
As Jesus is so am I in this world...
Help me fix my eyes on Jesus...

In Jesus's name,
Amen

Hebrews 11

Finally, God showed it to me today... The phrase I have been looking for...


Hebrews 11:13-16

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had the opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.


------------------------------------------------

I can't describe the relief I felt... When God showed me this verse... I have always felt like an alien.. like a stranger... in the place I was in...

It is not their fault.. And it is certainly not my fault... We are different... It is impossible for people who do not understand you to love you... It is impossible for people who do not love you to bring out the best in you...

I tried my best to love them... but I could never fully mingle with them... They tried their best to love me... but they could never bring out the best in me...

-----------------------------------------------

A better place awaits... I am confident... It is day five since I have left and already see an improvement in my health.. My skin... that has been looking dull and old has begun to regain its former glow... I find myself a lot more relaxed and happy... I am also more likely to form happy and positive thoughts of people... And that makes me less reclusive and more friendly... I am more able to care for the people around me... Just five days...

I believe that in this month of rest... God will restore to me everything I lost... My health, my beauty... my confidence.... my youth... I am confident.. Because God loves me... It's not about what I eat or how much I exercise... Only one factors matters... God's love..