I hate to say this.. But I have appeared to have lost all faculties of getting depressed... I might try to induce some emotions, to savour the pain and heartache.. But I can't seem to push it far anymore... I can't cry for beyond 5 minutes... And even if I do succeed in flooding myself with all kinds of negative thoughts... Tbey don't seem to have power over me anymore... It is strange...
It appears that my body has lost all ability of becoming depressed... It is like it has forgotten how to be depressed.. It's strange really... When all I want to do now is to push myself off the cliff and sink right into the mad rush of negativity... I can't...
All I feel is this overwhelming sense of peace... Like God is holding on to my heart and resisting all my efforts in trying to sink it into the deep... It feels a lot like an ant's effort compared to the power that is now within me... It is strange.. And in a way.. miraculous.. Just a few months ago, I would have easily given in... Perhaps it is true.. To be a child of God.. is to be a prisoner of hope...
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