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Has God changed?

No.

Have I changed?


No. You have always been like this.

Have my mind changed? I feel obviously much less grateful and thankful than before, have I grown into a monster?

Denise... Who can smile in the face of adversity... and give thanks for the pain and suffering... the humiliation and heartache?

Only Jesus...

Yes...Only Jesus... And yet, you are trying so hard to do it all by yourself... Something that is impossible for man to do...

I am disappointed and angry with everyone...

You have good reason to feel this way... After all, if man was all that perfect, Jesus wouldn't have had to die on the cross... You have good reason to feel the rage and disappointment...

I feel lost and guilty for allowing my heart and mind to be filled with rage, hate, anger and disgust...

You don't have to feel this way... You tried your best to be a good person... I know you did... Now, just stop punishing yourself and embrace the new chapter of your life...

I feel tired and drained... the pain I feel is a constant reminder that God has failed me... He has allowed for my nose to be broken...

Denise... You did break your nose... but there was no blood, minimal swelling and bruising and within two days the pain was almost gone... Don't you see what a miracle that is? You think this is normal? Most people bleed and bruise badly... You are a walking testimony of healing...

But I am disfigured...

Be patient... See what the doctor says on Monday... Have faith... The path of the righteous shines brighter and brighter... You can only grow more beautiful... Have faith...

My friends and family - they do not care for me... I feel estranged and hurt...

So do you prefer that they pause their lives and rush into your home to comfort you? Everyone is facing their own little crisis... You know it... You used to be able to see it and sympathize with them... But now you are blind... with your own suffering and grief.. too overwhelmed to have compassion for them... But Denise, trust me... Don't be too hard on them now... For when you are well, you will regret it....

What should I do? I need comfort.

You have the holy spirit... you have the word of God... You have this blog... Do what you do best... Blog...