Humans are remarkably intelligent creatures... They learn instinctively... consciously and subconciously... It is this ability that has ensured the success our species...
Very unfortunately, today's topic will not be on Darwin's theory of evolution... I was also tempted to write about how humans instinctively mimic the behaviors of other successful human beings (whether or not these behaviors will eventually lead them to success as well)... But then it will inevitably lead to some form of chicken and egg theory... So perhaps, the best thing to write about now is the following... How humans learn wrong lessons in life...
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When the sun is shining brightly and everybody adores you... You feel no need to change.. You are comfortable and secure and oh so proud and confident... But when bad things happen... the human being is compelled to look within themselves for the reasons as to why these bad things happen... this is know has introspection... Which is actually a neutral word... Except in my dictionary... It's BAD...
But in mainstream culture.. Introspection is seen to be to some degree good.. It help us reflect on how we can adjust our behavior, speech, dressing.. and even our mindset to make us more socially acceptable... or to allow us to perform our jobs better.... Basically, through introspection we modify ourselves to make ourselves less likely to be the target of another blow of trauma...
Sadly, while introspection do encourage people to become 'better'... most people pick up bad habits from this act of introspection.. This is most evident in the phenomenon know as peer pressure...
What is peer pressure? It is simply the pressure your peers exert on you to be similar to them.. For example a child might be pressured to pick up smoking because all his friends in class smoke... So in order to fit in and be well-liked by the others in his class, he decides to succumb and pick up smoking...
Therefore, let's get to the main point of our entry today - wrong lessons....
Picture this (true story):
A child topples from a height of 2 metres, landing head first while he was trying to steal cookies from the upper shelve of the kitchen cabinet... His mother rushes to the kitchen all ready to scream at him... He picks himself up immediately, smiles at his mother and attempts to clean up the mess he's made to appease her and prevent her from blowing her top at him....
24 hours later, this small boy die of internal injury.. head trama...
It is sad... but this is a true story that happened in Singapore... The child was so afraid of his mothers screams that he did not tell his mother that he was in pain... and the delayed treatment eventually led to his death....
Who's learned a wrong lesson here? Both mother and child...
Mother:
She's micmicking her own mother who screamed at her when she made any tiny mistakes when she was young... It successfully reduced the cases of mistake occurences for her so she decides that it is an effective measure to take when young kids make mistakes...
Child:
Mummy gets angry easily... I better not tell her when I have problem.. She does not handle difficult situations well.. She screams at me whenever I get hurt... I better not show her any signs of pain....
The result of the wrong lessons - the lost of a life...
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Of course not all examples are as dramatic and heart wrenching as the example given above.. but you do get the message right? That there are many solutions to solving a problem... what works for you... might be effective to perhaps a 70% degree.. but there might be an even better solution out there that can have a 100% effectiveness...
Let me illustrate:
A girl was rejected by a boy at the age of 15.... She was so severly traumatised that she made a promise to herself that she would never fall in love again....
For the next 30 years of her life, she rejected all opportunities presented to her... and stayed single and stable... and reasonably happy.... She thinks to herself "I am so happy I made the right decision at 15 to stay single all my life."
What she does not know is that God had a better plan for her... to be married.. loved and to bear children...
Of course her solution (to block our all guys) worked. It prevented her from being traumatised again... But it was a terribly wrong lesson to learn....
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Lessons learnt through bad experiences can sometimes be so ingrained in our subconsciousness that they are nearly impossible to fix... With that said, nothing is impossible for God... Pray for the wisdom and strength to see things as they really are and to learn the correct lessons through hardship....
God's grace!!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Different = Bad?
I noticed this from my new job - contract teacher at MOE... that most people tend to be afraid of change.. Or rather... they tend to view peculiar things in a bad light... Not because they are rigid or mean... It's just that they are alarmed and taken aback by things they do not know... They simply do not know how to handle it.. And thus.. for most of them...
Different = Bad
Thus, they either start panicking.. or they resort to all means and ways to get rid of the new thing...
Picture this... A man tends to a small patch of grass for 10 years.. He weeds and mows the grass diligently... hoping that one day, a stray seed might find its way onto his grass patch and blossom into a beautiful flower... One day, he saw a small weedlike flower... He was afraid and he did not know what to do... Because he has never seen it before.. and yet... it was so beautiful he felt that it was such a waste to get rid of it.. However, he is similarly afraid that it might just be a weed that might take over the grass patch if action is not taken immediately... Thus, he just stands there and stresses over it for hours....
What this man does not know is that his dream was just on the verge of materialising... and it all depends on how he deals with this new and peculiar flower... The easy path would be simply to walk away and let nature take its course... but he chooses to ruminate and stress over this little flower...
Many of us are like that... When God blesses us with some things or some people.. they might not look or appear to be like what we have expected them to be... But in these people lie the greatest treasure God has in store for you... Do not dismiss them simply because they are different... For all you know, you might be killing the very blessing you've been praying for for years...
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The solution?
We must always move ourselves out of our comfort zones and expose ourselves to things that are different... In fact, try experimenting new things every now and then... Pick up a new sport... Get a new pet.... Dress differently.. You are bound to meet NEW people... and you eventually learn that peculiar people are not bad... they are just different.. With sufficient patience and genuine concern, anyone can be a good friend, collegue and buddy...
Being different might not necessarily be bad... especially in a world so ridden with misconstrued religion and other vices... Sometimes, if not most of the times, being different means that you are the only one who is right...
God never asked us to be exact photocopies of each other.. Be brave and original... And have enough faith to believe that people will love you for who you really are... even if you are different from them...
Different = Bad
Thus, they either start panicking.. or they resort to all means and ways to get rid of the new thing...
Picture this... A man tends to a small patch of grass for 10 years.. He weeds and mows the grass diligently... hoping that one day, a stray seed might find its way onto his grass patch and blossom into a beautiful flower... One day, he saw a small weedlike flower... He was afraid and he did not know what to do... Because he has never seen it before.. and yet... it was so beautiful he felt that it was such a waste to get rid of it.. However, he is similarly afraid that it might just be a weed that might take over the grass patch if action is not taken immediately... Thus, he just stands there and stresses over it for hours....
What this man does not know is that his dream was just on the verge of materialising... and it all depends on how he deals with this new and peculiar flower... The easy path would be simply to walk away and let nature take its course... but he chooses to ruminate and stress over this little flower...
Many of us are like that... When God blesses us with some things or some people.. they might not look or appear to be like what we have expected them to be... But in these people lie the greatest treasure God has in store for you... Do not dismiss them simply because they are different... For all you know, you might be killing the very blessing you've been praying for for years...
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The solution?
We must always move ourselves out of our comfort zones and expose ourselves to things that are different... In fact, try experimenting new things every now and then... Pick up a new sport... Get a new pet.... Dress differently.. You are bound to meet NEW people... and you eventually learn that peculiar people are not bad... they are just different.. With sufficient patience and genuine concern, anyone can be a good friend, collegue and buddy...
Being different might not necessarily be bad... especially in a world so ridden with misconstrued religion and other vices... Sometimes, if not most of the times, being different means that you are the only one who is right...
God never asked us to be exact photocopies of each other.. Be brave and original... And have enough faith to believe that people will love you for who you really are... even if you are different from them...
I'm back
Welcome back Koalathong... I am sorry I had to move you to another address... But I really did enjoy that period of privacy... Where I could keep everything to myself... But well, I am aware that God's grace and blessing requires an outlet in order for it to flow... So perhaps, it is time for me to revive this blog...
Why Koala? Well, I find myself quite alot like a koala... I sleep alot, Eat alot... Cling on to things alot... But more importantly, I like the image of a koala gripping on the a tree... it sort of reminds me of a christian clinging on to the word of God and his promises... That kind of blind childlike faith... It's beautiful...
So yap, Koala Thong it is... Needless to add... Thong's my surname... a small bit of me in this blog.. Though most of the time, I just hope that it will be God speaking through me...
God's grace... God Grace!!!
Why Koala? Well, I find myself quite alot like a koala... I sleep alot, Eat alot... Cling on to things alot... But more importantly, I like the image of a koala gripping on the a tree... it sort of reminds me of a christian clinging on to the word of God and his promises... That kind of blind childlike faith... It's beautiful...
So yap, Koala Thong it is... Needless to add... Thong's my surname... a small bit of me in this blog.. Though most of the time, I just hope that it will be God speaking through me...
God's grace... God Grace!!!
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